A of couple weeks ago I was absent-mindedly surfing through the channels on my TV when I ran into a movie I hadn’t seen for years, Meet the Parents. In the movie, Greg (real name Gaylord) is meeting his potential in-laws for the first time and he wants to make a good impression. As they sit down to have dinner together, Greg is asked to pray for the meal. While he’s not a praying person, Greg doesn’t want to mess things up, so he decides to take a shot and wing it. His prayer goes like this:
“Ok…. O Dear God, thank you. You are such a good God to us. A kind, and gentle, and accommodating God. And we thank you, O sweet, sweet Lord of Hosts for the smorgasbord you have so aptly lain at our table this day and each day by day… day by day by day, O dear Lord three things we pray. To love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly day by day by day. Amen.”
Maybe you remember that scene, or one like it—when Aunt Grace is asked to pray in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and breaks into the pledge of allegiance, or when Ricky Bobby prays to the “sweet baby Jesus wearing golden diapers,” in Talladega Nights. In these scenes, and many like them, the message seems to be people who are willing to pray but have no idea what to say.
Maybe the reason these scenes are so funny to us is that we can relate. We believe that there is something important and something sacred about prayer, but we’re not sure how to pray, what to say, or what we should pray about. For Christians, prayer is something we talk about and know we should practice, but it still seems nebulous and hard to put our finger on. Even people who describe themselves as non-religious or unsure often look to prayer in times or personal or national crisis. But what is prayer and how are we supposed to pray?
WHAT IS LENT?
Today (Wednesday, February 17th) is the beginning of the Lenten season, a 40-day period leading up to Easter. It begins on “Ash Wednesday” and concludes the day before Easter. It is a Christian liturgy that focuses on Jesus’ path to the cross, His death, burial, and His resurrection. Prayer is a big part of the Lenten season, so I wanted to do a little “how-to” talk about prayer.
PRAYER: Simply Profound
At its simplest level, prayer is talking to God, or a conversation with God. The way prayer is described and demonstrated in the Bible involves both speaking (praying to God) and listening (hearing from God). I like the way Pete Grieg, who has led many prayer movements in the UK and other parts of the world, says it: “The best bit of advice I’ve ever received about how to pray was this: keep it simple, keep it real, keep it up.”
We keep prayer simple when and real when we talk to God like we would talk to a best friend. When this is our mindset, we aren’t trying to come up with big words or impressive language. We’re just simply talking about how we feel. Jesus Himself encouraged the people who followed Him to keep their prayers simple and straightforward in Matthew 6:7-8:
“When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!”
Apparently, people during Jesus’ time believed that they could earn style points for eloquence or endurance points for how long they prayed. They thought that the fancier or longer their prayers were, the better the chance of God hearing them and actually listening to them. Many also used chants or mantras that they would repeat over and over, hoping that by using the ‘magic words,’ they would get God’s attention and approval. But Jesus told His followers not to follow that example. Instead, they should keep it simple and keep it real.
In conversations I’ve had with people about prayer, I’ve often heard a version of this, “I’m not sure what to say when I pray, I don’t know what words I should use.” The answer I always give is, “Yours. Use your words. That’s enough.” God isn’t impressed by our vocabulary or our volume. He just wants to hear from us.
A Model We Can Use for Prayer
After Jesus told His followers not to babble on in their prayers, He said, “Pray like this,” then He gave them what we call today, “The Lord’s Prayer.” It goes like this:
“Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.” - Matthew 6:9-13
Many people have memorized that prayer and make it a part of their own prayers. But notice that Jesus didn’t say, “Pray these words.” He said, “Pray like this.” Jesus wasn’t giving us a mantra to repeat, He was giving us a model to follow. The Lord’s prayer is a great model or pathway for us to follow when we pray. Let’s break it down:
Our Father in Heaven, Holy is Your Name
This is giving praise or thanks to God for Who He is what He has done in your life. When I pray this, I like to list some of the names or descriptors for God that are found in the Bible. For instance: The Alpha and Omega referring to God as being the beginning and end of all things. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Jehovah Jireh, which means, “God will provide.” I also like to use my own words to tell God how much I love Him and offer Him praise as the God of the universe and the God of my life. These are prayers of ADORATION – giving love, thanks, and praise to God.
Your Kingdom come, Your Will be Done on Earth as it is in Heaven
Every kingdom can only have one king. Only one person’s will can be done in a situation. When we pray this part of the Lord’s prayer, we are saying, “God, I want You to be the king of my life, not me. I want Your will to be done in my life, not mine.” These are prayers of SUBMISSION – giving up control and giving it to God. I usually start by praying that God’s kingdom would come and that His will would be done in my life (my thoughts, my words, my actions) and then work outward, asking His will to be done in my marriage, my family, our church, our community, our nation, and our world.
Give Us Today our Daily Bread
This is the part of the Lord’s prayer when we make our requests known to God. It’s when we say, “God I know that You are the One who provides everything I need in this world.” Jesus said when we pray we should know that God already knows what we need. This is the time when I pray for people, situations, and needs that I have or am aware of. I pray that people I know who are sick will be healed. I pray for people that I know are struggling financially, that God will give them what they need today. I pray for people struggling with addictions or habits they can’t shake. I pray for our community and the needs that are in the news or conversations with my neighbors. I pray for our nation and our world. These are prayers of PETITION – asking or petitioning God to act on our behalf.
And Forgive Us our Sins as We Forgive Those who have Sinned Against Us
These are prayers of CONFESSION, when we ask God to forgive us of our sin. These could be things we have said, ways we’ve treated others, wrong words we’ve spoken, or anything else that causes us to feel guilty or ashamed of our actions. When we pray for these things, Jesus also instructs us to give that same forgiveness to others as well. Throughout the New Testament of the Bible, Jesus and many of the New Testament authors link our ability to experience forgiveness and feel forgiven with our willingness to forgive others. If we withhold forgiveness from others, we forfeit the ability to receive God’s forgiveness in our lives.
Don’t Let Us Yield to Temptation, but Rescue Us from the Evil One
Jesus wraps up His prayer model by seeking God’s wisdom and protection. This is where we commit our day, our plans, our future to God and ask Him to lead and guide us. We also pray that He will be with us through every circumstance.
The Wrap Up
Prayer: keep it simple, keep it real, and keep it up. We’ve looked at a simple model that Jesus has given us for prayer. We can follow this model and keep it real by praying our own words, talking to God like we would to a close friend. But what about keeping it up? Didn’t Jesus say not to babble on and on?
Just a few paragraphs after Jesus taught His followers the model for prayer, He talked to them about the perseverance of prayer. Check out what Jesus had to say about prayer in Matthew 7:7-8:
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
When you pray, keep it up. You might pray for a need in your own life or in the life of a friend or family member for weeks before you see an answer. You might pray over and over for God’s direction and guidance in a situation before the way seems clear. Jesus says, “Keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep knocking.” Keep it up.
One last thought from Pete Greig about when, where, and how we should pray:
“God invites you to pray simply, directly and truthfully in the full and wonderful weirdness of the way he’s actually made you. Take a walk in the rain. Write prayers on the soles of your shoes. Sing the Blues. Rap. Write Petrarchan Sonnets. Sit in silence in a forest. Go for a run until you sense God’s smile; throw yourself down a water-slide, yelling hallelujah if that’s honestly your thing.”
His point? The right way to pray is your way. The right words to use are your words. God just wants to hear from you. It’s that simple. And that profound.