Resolve to Become, Not Just Do

Well, we made it. The end of 2020 is just hours away, and most of us can’t wait to turn the page on this ______________ (insert your own word here) year. A year ago, we were wrapping up 2019 and looking forward to a new year with “2020 vision,” with lots of hopes and dreams for a new year and a new decade. Well, it certainly was a year to remember, even if most of us would rather forget it.

As we get ready to head into 2021 hoping, “it’s got to be better than last year,” you may be following the time-honored tradition of setting some goals or resolutions for the new year. A new year, like a new month, a new week, or even a new day, seems to hold a ton of possibility. A clean slate. A chance to start over.

It is ironic that we make new year resolutions, which mean, “a firm decision to do or not do something,” and then give up on 75% of them by the end of January. I know we go into those resolutions with a sense of determination, but often that resolution fades in relatively short order. Goals that seem really important on January 1st don’t seem to matter as much on February 1st. Fun fact: The desk in the Oval Office of the White House is called the “Resolute Desk” and was constructed from timbers from the HMS Resolute, an English ship used for exploring the Arctic. At 1,300 pounds, it is definitely ‘resolute.’

Why don’t our resolutions seem to hold the same weight?

I believe one of the major reasons is that we often focus our resolutions on goals or habits—things we do. We take our already busy lives and we add more things to do or projects to get done. It’s like we are trying to keep a bunch of plates spinning in our lives, and we set a goal or make a resolution to learn how to spin more plates. But what if we made a different resolution this year?

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What if, instead of resolving to DO something, we resolved to BECOME something? 

To become more generous.

To become a better listener.

To become more encouraging.

To become a better spouse or parent.

To become a better employee or boss.

For example, if you made it your resolution to be a better spouse this year, you could focus on the words of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:21, where he tells husbands and wives to, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” With that as your resolution, what could that look like in 2021? Maybe it means planning regular date nights. Or maybe it’s choosing to put your phones away in the evening when you get home from work. Maybe you plan a vacation or getaway together or choose a devotional that you can read together.

The possibilities are endless, but the goal is significant: becoming a better spouse. You can take that same approach with many areas of your life, but starting with a significant “why” (becoming something) can be the motivation for taking action and forming habits that will get you there. Saving more and spending less is a common new year resolution, but without a purpose, it often goes by the wayside. But if your reason for spending less and saving more was to become a more generous person, you would find it easier to pursue that resolution. 

Resolving to become someone rather than just doing something is a concept that falls in line with what we understand about God from Scripture. When you read the Bible, you’ll often find that the people in the stories are trying to get something done or reach a place. But in those stories, God is more interested in helping them become someone. King Solomon wrote it this way in the Old Testament book of Proverbs:

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9

We make plans—places we want to go, a timeline for when we want to get there, etc. But it is God who determines or guides our steps in the process. We focus on the destination, God focuses on the direction, the steps we take in becoming who He has made us to be.

So, as we turn the page to a new year, be resolved. Not just to crossing off your 2021 bucket list, but to becoming someone, someone that God is calling you to be. When you become that person, you’ll be amazed at where God takes you and where you end up.

Happy New Year!